Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Hobbies: Listening to music, watching HBO, reading, making people laugh
Pregame warm-up song: Ice Cream Paint Job, anything by the Killers
Favorite athlete to watch in another sport: Ally Stanton
Talent I’d most like to have: Break dancing
Best movie line: "Hope is a good thing, maybe the best thing, and no good thing ever dies” -Shawshank Redemption
Favorite team growing up: USA women's soccer team!
Three things I want to do in my life: Save Dolphins, Cure cancer, reproduce
Favorite value in others: R-E-S-P-E-C-T
My motto: The greatest mistake a man can make is to be afraid of making one
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Born: 7-29-88 Tulsa, OK
What’s in my iPod: A little bit of everthing. I have
Hobbies: I enjoy taking naps, nothing is better than a cat nap in the middle of the day. I like to play both golf and frisbee golf. I also enjoy beating my roommates (teammates Drew Dudley and Mike Martinovich) in the new NCAA Football 2010 on XBOX 360.
What I drive: Blue Xterra, I get made fun of it because it is a chick car. I've made it more manly by keeping it messy.
Favorite flick: The Sandlot
Worst habit: Whenever I'm outside I always have the urge to spit. I catch myself doing it all the time around campus.
On my apartment wall: Blown up picture of my dog Cowboy. He is an English Mastiff and weighs 230 lbs.
Love to trade places for a day with: Tiger Woods - I'd play golf all day long. That would be so relaxing.
Talent I’d most like to have: Photographic memory, it would make college alot easier.
Favorite postgame meal: Bigg's BBQ, I get the slow smoked pulled pork with sides of sweet potato fries and baked beans.
Favorite athlete to watch in another sport: Lebron James, He is very explosive and always puts on a good show.
If you could have dinner with any three people, living or dead, who would it be and why? I would have dinner with Jesus, Michael Jordan and Megan Fox. I chose Jesus because he was the son of God and it would be awesome just to be in his presence and listen to him talk. Michael Jordan
because he was my childhood hero growing up.I would have dinner with Megan Fox because she is beautiful and you need to have a woman at the table so everyone is on their best behavior.
My heroes: Mom and Dad. They raised me in the church. They've taught me to believe in God and live life to the fullest.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Several of the University of Kansas coaches use the words “Blue Collar Work Ethic” to describe the philosophy of the hard work put into preparation in many of our sports. We prepare physically and mentally, with our team and alone, when no one is watching. We sure do get thirsty from all that training!
FACT: Gatorade. It’s ACTUALLY IN the Jayhawk Student Athletes (and lots of it).
The football team in particular goes through cases of Gatorade like Joey Chesnut goes through hot dogs. In a recent order, 250 cases were purchased with 24 bottles to a case, and estimates show that the team will go through eight times that amount in a year.
FACT: Plastic Gatorade bottles are made from recyclable PET #1 plastics
When former line backer, Mike Rivera, brought to he attention of our SAAC executive board the amount of Gatorade bottles being simply thrown away at the new football facility we knew that this was an issue worth investigating. Turns out, during two-a-day practices the football team was drinking more than 150 a day and not a single bottle was being recycled.
With the help of Mike Harrity I got in contact with Celeste Hoins, leader of the Environmental Stewardship Program at KU. Celeste was stoked to hear that the athletics department was interested in getting involved in the green efforts on campus and we were thrilled that she was willing to help. We then began meeting with Murphy Grant, Director of Sports Medicine and Head Football Trainer at KU, to work out a plan of attack that would prove the least disruptive for the football team. Recycling receptacles were picked out, pick up times were arranged and then two-a-days began to the delight of the football team.
Since the recycle program has been implemented, Kansas Athletics has recycled over 3,000 bottles from the football practice fields alone! It’s remarkable because the plan has been executed so flawlessly it’s probably even unknown to the hard working athletes on the field. See, recycling is a piece of cake guys.
The football practice fields are only a small step in the green direction for KU Athletics. We have many more areas in which we can become a more sustainable athletic department but were moving quickly in the right direction. Hopefully, if we keep this progress we can become a leader amongst athletic departments nationally as we create a more healthy and sustainable environment to compete in.
FACT: Kansas Jayhawk rock… at recycling. BOOYAH BABY!
Ally Stanton, Softball
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
I am beginning my senior year here at the great University of Kansas. The spring semester really got me thinking about life and my future, and my experiences this summer continued that trend. These next few paragraphs are my thoughts from May through now (September), and are different events that influenced me in some way.
This year I had a wonderful opportunity to serve on the committee that chose the recipient of the Del Shankel Teaching Excellence Award. The award is the highest honor a student-athlete can give a teacher at KU. Students nominate their teachers and then a committee comprised of student-athletes interview the candidates and deliberate until they can finally come to a decision for the winner.
We had some very inspiring candidates this year and each one motivated me in some way or another. Just talking to these teachers made me want to immediately go sit and listen to one of their lectures, even though it was Friday afternoon of Easter weekend. I am an accounting and finance major, and none of the nominees taught a business course. They were intellectually stimulating even in an interview setting with nothing specifically academic in our questions—we just wanted to get to know them better. I could have sat there all day listening to each one about their respective subject and enjoyed every minute of it. They absolutely loved their job and enjoyed creating relationships with students even if there were several hundred in the class. I was extremely impressed with how much effort a teacher went to just so he would be able to say a student’s name to his face in a 300-person lecture. Sometimes students think their teachers don’t care and have no idea who they are, especially at a large university like Kansas. These teachers didn’t just set the bar, they exceeded it. Heck, after interviewing them, I was tempted to switch majors and become a teacher because they had such passion for it. Most of them never even planned on teaching at a university, but yet they are obviously very good at it for a student-athlete to nominate them.
Every year the athletics department hosts a Senior & Scholar Athlete Banquet and this is the occasion where we honor the nominees and award the winner. Other than the fact my heel was stuck between the cracks on stage, it went smoothly and I was so excited to present the award. It was a time, though, when I wanted to be cliché and give them all the winning plaque because it was a tough decision and I felt each deserved it in a different way.
Another reason the department holds the banquet is to honor the seniors for putting in 4 (sometimes 5) years of hard work to make Kansas Athletics great. This year was more emotional for me because a larger number of my friends were moving on to the next chapter in their lives. Also, it’s the last time I will look up at the stage and say, "well, it’s not me yet," which definitely makes you think about things. I’m an extremely organized person and always have everything planned—I’ve had my school schedule planned out by class since the beginning of my sophomore year. Seeing my friends and teammates up there this year just made me wonder if I’ve accomplished what I want during my years in college (I’m blaming all this contemplating on our Del Shankel nominees stimulating my thought process). It made me wonder if I have any regrets. It definitely solidified me in my decision over three years ago to come to KU. Looking at all the accomplishments of my fellow student-athletes made me so proud of what they’ve done while they were here and how much they added to my experience. It was surreal when I ran down Massachusetts Street to celebrate winning the National Championship. I was in awe as our football program had such a great season in 2007 and even though we lost some key players, came back and had another good season with a bowl win. I had chills during the Missouri game this year (and I was at home, warm, instead of freezing like I was last year) when somehow our guys gutted it out, buckled down, and made one of the most thrilling games into more than just a game, but a breathtaking win (plus the pictures looked really cool with the snow falling). Our women’s basketball team had a season to remember as they made it to the WNIT Championship game and had the honor of hosting it in the hallowed Allen Fieldhouse. I had never even been to a swim meet in my life until I came here to cheer on the girls who lived on my floor freshman year. Sometimes on our way to or from a run, we see the rowing team on the Kansas River and the way they glide just mesmerizes me. One of my favorite components of my participation in KU Athletics is SAAC and the incredible events I have experienced with some of the most creative, caring, energetic, and friendly people. I will truly cherish every memory I have from here.
As I am re-reading what I just wrote, it kind of sounds like I am the one graduating. Fortunately, I have another year, plus my masters (well that isn’t entirely bad because who really wants to have to go into the "real world"). I guess I need to clarify. I basically just want to thank the Class of 2009 for everything they have done for Kansas Athletics, their teammates, and for any small way they impacted me and wish them good luck in their next endeavors. You will be missed, but not forgotten.
As for the Class of 2010, we have our work cut out for us as we embark on our final year(s) here in Lawrence. For some, our seasons are just beginning and the air is filled with goals and dreams. For others, their time is coming and we all know preparation is key. We have gone through countless hours of hard work and sweat and this is our time. Our time to prove to the college football world that we are serious contenders for the Big 12 title; that we are passionate enough and willing to do everything possible to get to the NCAA Cross Country meet; that we have the drive to stay focused and make a run for the National Championship in men's basketball; that we can repeat in the NCAA Soccer Tournament; that our women’s basketball team will dominate in the NCAA tournament just like they did in the WNIT last year; our time to show the rest of the country what it means to be a Jayhawk. Wear your uniform proudly because we have a rich history out here in Kansas, but we should attempt to make it not just a rich history, but a rich present.
--Kaitlyn Coen (Cross Country/Track & Field)
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Friday, April 3, 2009
As a child we tend to take things for granted.
We think we can fly, or that we’ll live forever.
Not realizing the value in life nor the sensitivity of it.
Not even how easy it can be lost through decisions, time, or neglect.
I use to think that mother could do anything,
Yeah she was my role model.
Her determination, passion,
But there was a time that I was living aimlessly,
My faith was careless and my direction was pathless.
It was like I was trying to count the stars before night fall.
I remember when my night fall came and my stars were visible.
It was the first time I saw my grandpa’s name,
On the Wall of Fame at the Ranch for bowling a 300.
Or the first time I saw him hit a homerun at 50 years old.
Or maybe it was when he injured his neck going into 2nd base
And still returned to the field again.
It was these moments that gave direction,
Seeing him reach perfection bowling a 300 gave me hope,
And the desire to be the best in all that I do.
Seeing him hit multiple homeruns at 50 years old,
Made me realize that size and age is not only what matters,
But sound judgment, technique, and heart can get you further…
Gentle, Proud, and Loving,
My Grandpa is my Hero
Sweaty palms, stomach turning, vision blurry
What is this feeling
Is it a result of something bad
Or the build up of something good
I don’t want to miss my opportunity
Especially if I know I should
Do I run, walk, it doesn’t matter
I just need to get there
Wright, wrong, maybe it can influence my character,
My integrity, or my reputation
I can’t risk it,
It was hard to build up,
Yet so easy to lose it
Sweaty palms, stomach turning, vision blurry
What is this feeling
Is it the result of uncertainty
Or the anxiety of being so anxious
I’ve done it before
So why does it always feel like the first time
Should I smile, yell, or frown
And hold my grin firm
It’s either me or him/her
Which one of us will be the better player
Is it the one who plays harder
Or the one who worked the hardest in preparation
If so maybe I shouldn’t have skipped those reps in the weight room
Or maybe I should have ran a little harder during conditioning
Okay here we go, come on get ready…
But why am I so nervous
Why so scared
What is this feeling
Ah, I know, it’s… it’s…
The fear, yeah that’s it
The fear of the unknown
Sunday, March 22, 2009
1. Though there were no submissions for most awful mugshot in the history of sports, it should be noted that the faux hawk will no longer grace the pages of kuathletics.com. It has since been replaced by my photo from my junior year. How's that for going retro? If the faux hawk photo was Bangkok Dangerous, then the old photo is probably closer to the likes of Wicker Man.
2. The air conditioning has not been functioning properly in my office for a few days. By not functioning, of course, I mean that I am sweating right now and the ceiling lights feel like the summer sun. Things could be worse though, atleast I am not this guy.
3. Last week was Spring Break, which means that I sat in my office and had the chance to look outside as long as Casey Wright left her door open. But more importantly, the downtime has proved to be the mother of ingenuity. While this blog is awesome, it occured to us that we don't have to stop with just a blog. From this point forward, we will not only be blogging, but we will also be vlogging. Because many of our student-athletes were busy frolicking on beaches and mountains, we brought in Mike Rivera - also known as King Leonidas in cleats. Mike recently worked out at the KU Pro Day, and will soon be busting faces in the NFL. He gives a glimpse into Pro Day antics, as well as some hilarious stories from his playing time at KU.
So without further ado, turn off your brain and turn up your speakers. This is the Hawk Talk Video Vault.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Hypothetically, if Phelix and Phoebe were to have had octuplets, what would their names be?
Well, I would stick with the PH theme. Phelip, Phelice, Phannie Phickle, Pheces, Phog, Phancy, Phabulous… those are pretty good. Though I don’t think Pheces will like his name, he is going to be the runt of the bunch.
How does it feel to be a Jayrock champion
What was it like to win after having some really hard years of not getting second?
Well I am only a sophomore, but I know the history. It was an amazing accomplishment, though the track geniuses of the past are gone. I didn’t see the track performance this year, we were back stage. I heard theirs was good, but obviously ours was better.
On a scale of Nicolas Cage movies, let’s say that Lawrence smells like Con-air. What does Greeley smell like?
Well. It smells like poop. Cow poop. Is that a Nicolas Cage movie?
What was it like to transition from club swimming to college swimming?
It was a huge jump to go from club to college swimming. College is on a whole different level, there is a lot of new stuff and a lot better competition.
Is it true that your parents own an ice cream shop?
Swimming and diving has won the Jayhawk Champs competition for three years in a row. It has usually been between men’s basketball, swimming, football, and volleyball. This year, volleyball is ahead of you right now. Is swimming and diving going to step up down the stretch to make it four in a row?
We’re going to pull it out in the end. We have some stuff up our sleeve that we have already talked about. I don’t know what volleyball has going on, but we are ready to take it again. Four time champs.
It would be alright. I already have a scar that kind of looks like gills. I could always wear a scarf to cover them up. Or I could sport them, I mean I would have gills and no one else would!
Saturday, March 14, 2009
I also understand that you love chai tea latte’s?
I have probably had a few hundred this semester. I get them everywhere – it is low calorie, and I love hot drinks in the winter. It is the best of both words. Hot chocolate makes me feel guilty, but there is no guilt in the chai tea latte. They are close to a five-spot each time – but I save money with all the cereal I eat!
Are you jealous of the Dundie Award on this desk?
Yes, I am a huge office fan! I got hooked this year, I have been catching up ever since. I have all the dvd’s. It all started with my crush on John Krasinski – the guy who plays Jim. He’s a hottie. His love for Pam is just touching. Paired with Michael Scott’s character, it all just kills me. I love dry humor. The office is definitely a top notch show
If you worked at Dundler Mifflin, what department would you work in?
How would you describe Michael’s leadership style?
He is a leader unlike any other I have ever met. But if he ran a business school, I wouldn’t join. It would be entertaining, but I wouldn’t learn anything. He is such a good guy deep down, but he is such an idiot.
Who would win a fight between Andy and Dwight?
It would be the most pathetic fight ever. Though they did fight in the parking lot when andy ran him over with his car. I think Dwight would win because he has hidden weapons all over the office that he could use at will. It would be a fun fight.
Starboard or port – which is better?
Starboard! That’s what I row. I don’t know that I really think it is better – it is just what I have to do. When you are backwards on the boat, I row to the left. My left – coxswain’s right.
When you don’t pull through your oar fast enough or not squared right. It catches wrong in the water and flips the oar upsidown. It makes the whole boat rear off to the side and the whole boat has to basically start over - teammates would not be happy. It has never happened to me in a race, only in practice. It is the worst thing ever!
What does the rowing team do to get pumped before a race?
Everyone is actually really quiet and focused. We just get ready, get stretched, game face on. After every race we sing the alma mater.
Tell us something about your teammates?
Brooke and Carrie like to think of themselves as comedians, but that is up for debate. Nobody is super flashy with their talents, though I am pretty amazing with handstands.
So I hear you went for a swim in the Kaw river?
Oh man, This year, on a normal day of practice I was sitting bow. One of the coxswains ran us into an intake – a giant cement block. She didn’t see it – Sarah Best. The boat got crunched. There was no warning. In the middle of a stroke, my feet got ripped out of my shoes and I did a backflip out of the river. There was nothing stopping me. I was completely n shock, coach Rob had to pull me into the launch. I was shocked but we were all laughing about it 15 minutes later.
Bag, you get more. I probably have 1000 calories of raisins a day. I can eat them constantly. They are amazing. I also eat dried pineapple. I tried craisins once, but they don’t do it for me, they have too much of a punch.
Would you rather spend one week locked in a room with Angela Martin, or go on a cross country roadtrip with Kelly Kapur?
Well Angela has a lot of cats. My heart tells me I would go with Kelly for the conversation, but I think I would choose Angela because she reminds me of my roommate Lauren and I am so used to that anyway.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
What was your favorite birthday party ever?
Tell us about your brothers Paul and Kris.
What does the name Beth West mean to you?
So if Beth West was here with us, would you apologize?
Where was the College Football National championship game your freshmen year? Oh man. It was on ESPN and I was trying to figure out where it was being played. I asked my little brother and he texted me that it was in ‘Glendale, Ariz’, so I told everyone that it was being played out of the country, in Ariz. Everyone still makes fun of me for it.
Would you rather wear sweats every day for the rest of your life, or never be able to wear sweats again.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Let me first apologize for taking so long to make my first entry, but as you know, anything worth having is worth waiting for. Now, people have asked me, "Paul, how do create the magic that just comes spilling out of your fingers into the computer screen and finally into my face?" It is hard for me to quantify my art, much like it is difficult to explain exactly how Matt got his hair to do what it did in his head shot. If I had to say, however, I would say my posts are a mixture of genius, strong coffee, and techno music, with just a dash of whatever it is that makes White Castle so awesome.
I have also been able to rest soundly at night knowing that the world is in safe hands. Matthew Baysinger and Bradley Thorson are highly competent bloggers (or is it bloggists?) with whom I would trust my life in a game of World of Warcraft or Halo. They, along with yours truly, are just a free sample of the deliciousness that is KU Athletics. We are a multi-talented and extremely good looking bunch, us Jayhawks. When we aren't winning bowl games or cutting down nets, we enjoy many pasttimes such as reading, knitting, or settling down in our Snuggies for a quiet movie night at home. One of my favorite hobbies is playing music. In fact, 100% of my classes this semester are music classes. Granted, I am only taking one class and it is a beginners class for piano, but you get the point.
So, naturally, being a piano player that on a scale of Super Bowl Quarterbacks is somewhere around a Trent Dilfer, I decided to make my debut performance a couple of weeks back at the Jazzhaus down on Mass St.(A couple of ex-Jayhawk footballers have a band and so graciously let myself and my roommate Chris Gorney (who will likely make many more appearances on this blog for his antics, which are also simply known as "Gorneys") play with them. I, of course, was on keyboard and Chris played the djembe (a hand drum) while Micah Brown and Jeff Foster melted faces up front on guitar/vocals. I came in after they played a couple of songs (probably so that the crowd could mentally and emotionally prepare themselves for what was about to happen). We laid down a sweet rendition of The Killers' "All These Things That I've Done" as well as a shortened version of "Come Sail Away" of Styx fame. After the final song, the crowd, those of them that still had the strength to walk, carried us down the street declaring that no musicians should ever be allowed to play live music in Lawrence again because they had just heard perfection and it is the last beautiful sound that should resonate through the streets of our fair city... or something like that, I can't remember.
Yes, my friends, there is a lot to know about us. Sometimes you live, work, and learn right next to people and all it takes is reaching out to them to find they are just extraordinary people. Like that time I lost a baseball signed by Babe Ruth in my neighbor's yard and his dog took it and I spent all summer trying to get it back that culminated with the dog chasing my friend Benny around the neighborhood only to find that my neighbor actually played with Ruth and had a baseball signed by the whole Yankee team. So let that be a lesson to you, Chalk Talk fans, and until next time... stay sweet. Rock Chalk.
Paul "Got His Mouth Lookin' Something Like a Disco Ball" Hefferon
Friday, March 6, 2009
Hancock. I could just break through everything and tell people, “If you say my name one more time I’m gonna kill you!”
When you’re dominating, do you feel bad for the person guarding you?
That’s a good question! Not always, just because they are gonna come down and try to score on me, so I don’t always feel bad for them. Sometimes though, it’s just like wow, that coach is about to be really mad at her!
Talk about playing basketball in high school…
High school was really fun. I played against Melissa Grieb, we were school rivals. There were a lot of fans in high school and some incredible moments. We made it to state a few times. We never went very far but it was a fun time.
You also competed in High School Track.
Yeah, I was in triple jump, shot put, and discus. At one point I was 5th in the nation in the shot. I really loved it. It was fun because I would go to the shot put from the triple jump. There would be some big girls with their shorts and all that. Then I would show up in my sprinter shorts and win. It was awesome to jump around from event to event; I really loved track and field.
When you were playing against Melissa Grieb, if she would have charged you with steam coming out of her ears, what would you have done to stop her?
I think I would get the wheels on my feet and run away.
So were you recruited for track and field?
Yes, Coach Redwine still asks me if I want to do it for my fifth year, but I don’t think I’ll be here for five years. I want to play in the WNBA and possibly overseas. If that doesn’t work out, I’ll find a career in business – somewhere where I can dress up every day!
If you had to punch an animal in the face to get a quintuple-double, would you do it?
What animal would you punch?
It would be a snake. I hate snakes.
So you just had a career high. When are you going to break your new career high of 35 points?
It's gonna be tough because of how teams are guarding me now. But it could be tomorrow, it could be in the tournament. Time will tell.
Describe what it's like to be on fire?
When the energy is there and the fans are in it, it feels good to come off screens and take shots like practice. It is amazing.
What do you love most about KU?
The people, traditions and sports are great. Everyone is really friendly.
What does the KU women’s basketball do to prepare for a game?
Normally we dance. We have been quoting Superbad a lot lately, too, but mainly we all just do stupid dances.
Who is the worst dancer?
It has to be Krysten Boogard. She’s bad! Rebecca Feickert kinda has some groove, but it is like a slow motion groove.
Who is the best?
I am, of course. LaChelda too, and Kelly. She has her own style.
Would you rather have KU Women’s basketball win the national championship, but you have to sleep on a bed of snakes, or…
Bed of snakes. I’d make the sacrifice for the championship. It would be worth it. I’d sacrifice all the days and live with it!
This is a little trick my roommates and I discovered. It is especially effective in large groups where some people involved in the conversation don't understand exactly how you feel about an issue. This technique I am about to share with you is revolutionary and a real hot topic in academia right now. It is applicable in almost any situation as long as you fully understand and have adequately practiced the technique. You will be amazed at the results, in fact my roommates and I are currently in discussions with Billy Mays to sell a VHS demonstrating this on TV.
So, you've stayed with me and are ready. Well it's actually very simple. The trick is to ask somebody to rate something on a non-numeric scale. This may seem confusing, and at first even we struggled to grasp the true genius of this method but with time it is becoming generally accepted principle among our amigos (that's friends in Spanish by the way). Let me give you an example and then we will discuss the intricacies of this method that are essential for effective use.
"Wow Kyle, that is some hot salsa! What would you rate the hotness of that salsa on a scale of Nicholas Cage movies."
Now I must pause here and explain that Kyle will inevitably answer Gone in Sixty Seconds if it is in fact quite hot salsa or Ghost Rider if it is not hot salsa. On a scale of Nicholas Cage movies there is no in between for him. Another two notes on the subject: first, this is a demonstration of the in depth nature of such a technique. I mean that in using a Nicholas Cage movie scale I can completely understand Kyle's opinion on the situation. God forbid he referenced Next or The Weatherman because it would take a lot more opinion sampling to understand where he was coming from. Second, notice I did not use Paul Rudd movies this is because Paul Rudd is a graduate from KU and given his alliance with the University (mainly wearing a KU hat in Clueless) all of his movies are great and therefore the scale is meaningless.
So you've been given an example of this communication technique. Let's discuss the ins and outs of successfully communicating with your friends and strangers. The number one rule of thumb: try and use appropriate scales. An example of an inappropriate scale: Daewoo car models. You may mistakenly think that Daewoo models are a funny and incredibly clever scale. This belief is probably substantiated by your recent viewing of Pineapple Express when Red references his Daewoo Lanos as a murder weapon. Now we here at KU do not condone the use of illicit substances, violence or foul language but that movie had some funny lines. I mean James Franco's favorite civil engineer was Hannskarl Ban-del. Anyway, yes a Daewoo Lanos was referenced and it was funny but a distinct difference exists. The most important is that this was a single reference of a Daewoo model. To ask someone to recall and comparatively evaluate multiple Daewoo models is not only impossible it's also a cruel request. I am quite adept in my Daewoo knowledge (thanks Wikipedia - best source of information on the web) and can name quite a few: Espero, Leganza, Nubira, Prince and Royale among many others. Let's get back to our discussion of inappropriate scales though. Why, if this scale holds so much humor potential (if that is what your goal is) do I advise against it? Simply put, have you ever driven or rode in a Daewoo? Do you know anyone that ever owned a Daewoo? Do you know anyone that ever wanted to own a Daewoo? Exactly, point proven. Unfortunately this comparison scale adds nothing to the conversation because everyone knows Daewoo cars are substandard so the opportunity to rate something positively is lost. That being said, I must admit the prospect of Daewoo ownership is still immeasurably better than having to own "The Power Towel".
The reason this is only a rule of thumb is because I can think of two exceptions to this rule. 1 - if the purpose of using the scale is to point out how bad something is. For example, "on a scale of Daewoos, how horrible would it be to have to go to school in Missouri?" Of course the response would probably be the Daewoo Espero. 2 - if you are looking to trick your friend into making a poor rating which you can black mail him or her for free stuff. For example, "how fun is this party on a scale of Daewoos?" Now when they say something seemingly clever and truly out of line like the LeMans, you then respond with your rating: Geo Metro. AHA! Got 'em, your choice was not a Daewoo at all and much cooler and made in the USA. Here you use the advantage to heckle him or her for not being a patriot and request that he or she buy the next round of Vess Colas.
Here are some other rules to remember so as to not look foolish when using this technique. The best scales to use are common and relate to either childhood memories or have the opportunity for a really rare/obscure response. Examples could include on a scale of Thundercats or characters from the show Doug. Also a favorite of ours is breakfast cereals. This provides an almost endless amount of cereals and if somebody is really on their toes and wants to give a raving review of something they can always pull out Apple Cinnamon Rice Krispies (also known as Rice Bubbles in Australia) which were so sadly discontinued in the 1980s, well before I ever got to experience them so I could never use them.
Also remember that scales with many options allow for a lot of fun but also can lead to heavy bickering over which person really has the correct barometer over the issue. Scales with limited choices can lead to definitive responses but you must be careful not to fall victim to groupthink. To ask people to rate the awesomeness of the Snuggie on a scale of states starting with the letter I you are likely to get a lot of Illinois or Indiana responses and that's fantastic if people really feel that way, but they are probably forgetting Idaho (which is definitely how I feel on that subject) and so the results are skewed.
The first couple times you use this technique are probably going to be rough but persistence is key and in the end you'll find life is much better this way. Don't keep this to yourself, share it with the world. The best place to do this is in crowded (food and) beverage establishments where there is a high incidence of eavesdropping. Now naturally you are much more likely to run into resistance, but in the event that you find people open to the idea, you will undoubtedly greatly enjoy the experience.
Because I taught you this technique you must swear by one law. If you dare to rate anything on a scale of Athletic Directors only two options are available. If you would like to grade something as the best possible then you would respond Lew Perkins. On the other hand if you truly cannot stand the thing being rated then you would respond some other A.D. Easy enough to remember right, unless of course you forget that second dude's name, which I can completely understand because I just did.
I wish you the best of luck in utilizing this technique to improve your communication ability with all those you come into contact with. Here at the Bureau of Being Awesome, I mean the University of Kansas, we will continue pushing the envelope in all areas of academia. Until next time I bid you ado. Rock Chalk.
-Brad Thorson (foozbawl)
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Full name is Melissa Lynne Grieb ... Parents are Jeff and Mary Grieb ... Father played baseball at Wichita State ... Has two sisters, Stephanie and Rebekah ... Stephanie was an All-American volleyball player at Mid-America Nazarene ... Majoring in human biology.
If you could be in High School Musical or Camp Rock, which would it be?
Oh boy. That is a really tough question, I have often thought about this. I’m gonna go High School Musical. Number one reason is because of Zac Efron of course. If I could choose one of the three, it would be three because Zac looks the best in that one.
Who would win in a fight: Joe Jonas or Zac Efron?
Are these all about them!? Zac would win because of his hair. It would go down in a gym with background music playing and a little dancing. Since Zac is a better dancer, he would dance circles around him and sing. Although Joe can play the tambourine so I don’t know... but Zac would definitely win.
I should win an Oscar for...
I should win an Oscar for being so good at Disney Sing it… way better than Katie and Paige!
What’s it like to be famous on YouTube?
It’s awesome. Lots of calls. People like Ellen and stuff trying to get me on the show... No, it is really fun though. We have had a lot of attention– Katie gets most of it because she played Gabriella – of course, pretty big deal – but we have had people on the street talk to us about it. I really felt like we could really get on shows. I thought it was a way bigger deal than it really was. I legitimately thought we could get on Ellen. Katie’s sister sent them an email and I thought about sending the tape. I want to be a celebrity so that I can be friends with other celebrities.
Oh Geez duh! I’m going to have to go with Edward Cullen, from Twilight. He’s a vampire. He likes blood. He’s really hot – the best looking man ever so the book says. Edward would even beat Zac Efron in a fight. It would be in a dark field with the moon of course. Edward would bite Zac, even though he wouldn’t like his blood cause he doesn’t like fellas. Edward would definitely win because he doesn’t dance at all and would probably laugh at Zac Efron.
So be honest, are you an 13-year-old trapped in a 21-year-old body?
Yes. I have often thought about this as well. I don’t think I belong in college, I belong in High School. In a High school musical, of course. I wish everyday could be like a high school musical.
Do you love Lamp? Why or why not?
I love lamp, and I love making loud noises. I also love couch.
I wanted to be a doctor, cause I like how it sounds. I didn’t want any life and death situations, like a lot of blood. For a while I wanted to be an optometrist, but every optometrist I talk with says they would have rather been a dentist so I chose dentistry.
So are you saying that gingivitis is not a life and death situation?
Not with me being the dentist. I could fix it really easily – pull a couple teeth.
What are you most proud of?
Is this a serious question? Can I say our youtube video? I was proud that I didn’t mess up and Katie did. I was embarrassed but I am glad we got through it. It was the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever done. We wanted to do it on video but Matt Baysinger convinced us to do it live. But I think it added to the performance since it was live.
Would you rather have steam come out of your ears when you get angry or have your nose change colors with your mood?
Steam. My mood changes a lot so my nose would always be changing colors. But with the steam, people would only know when I was angry. It would just be cooler in general.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Allyson Lane Stanton, junior, St. Louis, MO... Big White Castle fan.... Major is Journalism... Parents are Dan and Connie Stanton... Has one brother, Drew... Dad played football at Southeast Missouri State... Chose KU because she really loved the softball team and most of her friends from home go to Missouri and she wanted to do the exact opposite of all of them... Is a big fan of the Dave Matthews Band.
Soccer was a really huge deal in elementary school and I remember when I became a free agent around 4th grade and switched teams and it was a big deal – I was the only one and I went home and told my parents that there was a huge frenzy and big backlash from switching teams. I felt very honored. I was always the biggest kid in my class. I came home in Kindergarten after we learned about numbers and we measured everyones height and weight and got in order. I was the biggest kid in my class and my mom told me to not tell anyone. I was proud of it so I guess that transferred.
Most ridiculous KU sports memory?
The most ridiculous when we had the 80’s band play before a softball game. They had an 80s cover band come out. We were warming up, it was a colder day. When we showed up at the field there was a band setting up. Our coach is intense and she was getting frazzled and said ‘what are these kids doing here? getting mad’ and marketing told her about the 80’s band. So the 80s cover band played for us, the other team and like 4 of our parents. They dedicated the songs to players cause there was no one else there. It was crazy, but it was pretty cool I guess.
What is your favorite YouTube video?
Currently I really like the one where the kid just got back from the dentist, all high on laughing gas. It is really cute the little kid just wants to go back to real life. When he screams, he just wants to get out of his body. He sighs, and his dad knows he can’t do anything for him. It is hilarious. Of course, I also like all of the JayRock videos.
JayRock - Softball 2009
What is your proudest moment?
I walked-on to KU so that’s been a big accomplishment to see as much playing time as I have as a walk-on. I didn’t know how to be recruited and I didn’t think I wanted to play softball but then at the end of my senior year in high school I was like ‘oh wait, I do!’ And I came to KU for a camp and fell in love with it and they knew I was going to be a walk-on cause there were no more scholarships. But I was up for the challenge and I worked really, really hard when I came out here. So doing that has been one of my biggest accomplishment. Also, being the inaugural Hawk Talk on this blog is right up there.
Best thing that has happened this week?
Softball wise, we beat Cal last weekend, who was ranked #10. Also, there was a Dog the Bounty Hunter marathon last night that got me through studying, or hindered me from doing so. One of the two.
When no one is looking...
I play with my nose. Not the inside, I'm not picking it. Since I broke it, it doesn’t look bad but it feels funny so I play with the bridge of my nose. It is like a mashed together puzzle. I broke it playing softball, I foul tipped a pitch into my face. So now it is reconstructed and I play with it.
Fictional character most like you and why?
These are really tough questions. Well, I don’t know if she’s most like me but I absolutely love Kate Hudson’s character Penny Lane in Almost Famous. Because I think she’s a nut. If I could go back in time, I’d like to be her with her crazy furry coat and she has a toolbox, like a fishing tackle box, instead of a purse. She kind of goes where the wind takes her, so I would like to be like her, but I don’t think I am like her.
What’s your dream job?
It’s to work in an Athletic Department, in the Student-Athlete Development/Life Skills area). I’m in Journalism, but I’m kind of realizing that it’s not the path that I want to take. I love being a student-athlete, so I know when I’m done here in a couple years I don’t want to stop interacting with them. And I think it’s a cool thing and it’s something that a lot of people don’t understand. It’s really cool to have a support group and it’s like a family and I want to stay a part of that.
Would you rather have wheels for feet or a t-shirt cannon for an arm?
As an outfielder, I think the t-shirt cannon would lend itself well, but I think wheels for feet. I’m a terribly slow person. I’m awfully slow. So the wheels I think would help me out. My dad says I run like I’m towing a refrigerator. So I think wheels for feet. I did steal my first base of the year this past weekend. I was superpumped, like “oh yeah.” An inning later I found out the pitcher threw a change-up (when I stole the base) which clearly gives you more time to get to second. But I was still excited.
Monday, February 23, 2009
For those of you who don’t know me, you have probably been living in a hole for the last 5 years. My name is Matt Baysinger. If this name doesn’t ring a bell, you may know me better as the brainchild of Jayrock brilliance. You also may know me as having the worst athletics mugshot ever. If you feel like you know of a more grossly horrific mugshot, please email the link to firstname.lastname@example.org and we will be sure to post. Before I continue, I feel like I need to give you the background story of the faux hawk. Approximately one month prior to our team pictures, a bunch of the guys on the cross country team had the bright idea of growing beards and moustaches for the team picture. Unfortunately for me, I have yet to hit puberty, and likely will not do so until age 35. To properly compensate for my lack of facial hair, my attention-driven ego and I thought it would be best to find an alternate route to look foolish. In retrospect, it was a horrible idea, and the picture has now come back to haunt me on multiple occasions. Oops.
The main reason that this picture has come back to haunt me is that I was recently elected as the Chair of the NCAA Division I National SAAC – which means that this picture is regularly attached to any quote or publication associated with my name. Real professional, right?
Before I go any further, it has come to my attention that people sometimes get Paul Hefferon and me confused. Paul and I are both young, handsome, and witty. He has been one of my best friends since our sophomore year in high school – Blue Valley West Jaguars represent! I moved from Colorado shortly after Paul moved from Georgia. After a few short months, we not only realized that we had a great deal in common, but we realized that we are the exact same person. It is our theory that Paul and I are actually the product of a government experiment of what happens when the same person is raised in two environments. Through this process, Paul became a distance runner, and I started sprinting. I won’t go into details, as I am sure that Paul will want to touch on this subject at another time.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
As I paced backstage I contemplated just sneaking out the back door. I could have probably made up an adequate excuse enough; I mean who in their right mind would sing a Whitney Houston to an athletic director. Not to mention I tip the scales at a smidgeon under three bills and this athletic director just so happened to be Time Magazine’s Best Sport Executive in the World: Lew Perkins. I mean doubt me not, I can kill the song, no problem. But I had been fighting off a cold for quite some time and try as I might all the hot tea and throat lozenges in the world couldn’t help my rasp.
To make matters worse, while calming myself I was interrupted with a slew of questions about my lack of outfit. Apparently jeans and a KU t-shirt wouldn’t do. Ten minutes before my performance, microphone in hand, I was rushed out to the elevator to pick up my outfit. Not only was it transportation in the building, but it also became my dressing room. If the point hasn’t come across I was nervous and flustered, with my Irish skin it’s pretty easy to notice when my face gets flushed. I reassured myself it would be okay again and again and then I was announced.
I guess I should mention my compatriot hiding behind the stage with me happened to be Phoenix from American Gladiators, a former KU women’s thrower. Again as I tried to ready myself I was interrupted; Phoenix was appalled I would go out with a shirt on. I mean Google her and check out those biceps, I wasn’t about to say no. Back to me nearly dropping the ball on the opening act of Jayrock though. As I stood there and the music started I tried to gracefully enter into the first verse. Nothing. Tried to sing a little louder. Nothing! I started to panic and tried to push out the words. NOTHING! Actually that’s a lie, if anyone was there and remembers that short shrill squeal that sounded like electronic interference, that was my voice. I turned and looked at Phoenix and lipped “I can’t” and with that she thrust me onto stage. From there it’s history. I belted out every line and left the crowd in tears, standing ovation, roses at my feet. That may also be a lie but I won’t admit to it outright.
Anyway, enough about me. This was the beginning to a great night for everyone overall. There were some incredible events that took place, most notably the fall of Men’s Track and Field supreme reign. Insert memorial piece to Paul Hefferon who championed all of these previous wins for MTF here (that’s one of the cool abbreviations you get to use if you work in athletics). Okay, I have to mention Matt Baysinger as well since he was actually the brains of the operation but come on who can say no to Paul's 130 pound frame? Granted they did a great job, not as good as I did, but other teams showed up to compete as well. It was an excellent testament to the competitiveness and fun loving spirit of KU athletes. If you didn’t already know on behalf of all athletes we would like to yet again highlight 2008 Orange Bowl Champions in football and 2008 National Champions in Men’s Basketball (FB and MBB respectively if you want to abbreviate them). Rock Chalk Jayhawk anyone?
A couple days before Brad made his incredible Jayrock debut, I got the privilege of giving Brad a pep talk and sharing all of my performance tips with him. Basically, his success is because of my awesome advice. Oh yeah, this is Kaitlyn Coen, a proud member of the Women’s Cross Country and Track & Field teams (or WTF in Brad’s abbreviation terms). Brad has a slight ADD issue and just wandered off somewhere, so unfortunately you are stuck with me to finish out your Jayhawk Chalk Talk blog experience (this is actually a great discovery for you because not only am I cooler and wittier, but I am better looking than Brad).
Let me tell you exactly what Jayrock is. Our #1 athletic director, Lew Perkins, decided that it was important for student-athletes to come together in a non-athletic way, so he allows Mike Harrity to put on a “dinner and a show.” All athletes come together for a delicious meal and some great acts put on by their fellow athletes. Until this year, MTF had never lost. The tradition was proud, and strong, but unfortunately it wasn’t carried over to the women’s side. Previous MTF acts have been a “Mike Tyson’s Punch Out”, an OK Go music video, and a “no-show skit from last year that somehow was magically put together that night” skit. So for three years running, MTF had the coveted “Overall Best Act” trophy; that is until this year. Swimming & Diving dethroned the guys with a fun little dance about food. Volleyball and Men’s Basketball felt somewhat slighted because they didn’t receive any award for their version of the High School Musical movies (getcha head in the game!) that has, as I write this blog, hit 72,024 views (and counting). According to some insiders in KU Athletics, “the rest of the world has spoken” regarding awards for Jayrock. Oh, here’s a fun fact of the day for you (FFD if you really wanted another abbreviation), the trophies awarded to the winning acts travel to Lawrence all the way from the big city of Hays, KS. Yeah, that’s right; there are some cool things that come from Hays; me being one of them.
Well, the best way for you to get the entire experience is to watch the videos that Matt Baysinger has posted on YouTube. You can’t really explain in words the amazingness of the event. Except for maybe Brad’s rendition of “I Will Always Love Lew” because if you watched a video of that, it may end up permanently damaging your ears. Rock Chalk.
-Brad Thorson (Football) and Kaitlyn Coen (Cross Country/Track & Field)
FYI- Kaitlyn forgot to mention Wild Bill Hickok, former Sheriff of Hays, KS. In my opinion he's probably the most famous person from Hays although the race is a close one.
Friday, February 20, 2009
First and foremost we have an upcoming full SAAC meeting 7pm in the Naismith room on Monday February 23rd. All are welcome and encouraged to join. Additionally, I am going to round up some of the other athletes and see if I can't get them posting on here pretty soon. Expect a little info from Paul Hefferon on last Wednesday's show at the Jazz Haus (I'll let him fill you in), maybe a little something from National SAAC Chairman and former KU Track All-Star Matt Baysinger on what's going on big picture style (that's right Paul, I called Matt the All-Star) and obviously lots and lots of fun stories. See all you Jayhawks at SAAC Monday. Rock Chalk.